The Art of the Return – Getting What You Want When You Send Something Back

It's been said that the squeakiest wheel gets the most grease. Some take this to mean that the best way to be heard is to complain loudly and often. We hear from a lot of these folks. Their correspondence can sometimes be downright entertaining.

Yes, we gladly do whatever we can to make things right for angry people. But nasty letters have a way of making both the writer and recipient feel bad.

This time of year is when we receive the most returns and complaints, so it seems like a good time to . . .

1) . . . remind you to please fill out your return forms clearly and completely. Don't be in such a hurry that we can't read your writing, or it'll take longer for us to take care of YOU. And,

2)  . . . offer a hearty THANK YOU to those rare individuals who have figured out creative ways to let us know when we've made them unhappy, and do it in a way that makes us want to spread it around. Here's hoping Lars and his cat bring a smile to your face, too. The text of his letter follows after the jump

And Lars – there's no Return of the Black Hole on the horizon, but you've made sure we'll remember to contact you first if we bring it back.

Dear Patagonia,

It has been over a year since the legendary and amazing original black hole duffel bag (potato shaped and all rubbery) disappeared from your inventory. I was lucky enough to have one from a few years back, but even so I feel the pain shared by many who never got their wallets out in time. I want another one, but can’t get it. When I see one on a baggage carousel my heart skips a beat, wishing they were still available. Sometimes I’m lucky enough to be able to grab it (because it’s mine), but now I’m afraid to use it in case it gets lost or damaged by the airlines. If a used and abused one make it onto ebay it goes for absurd amounts of money.

PLEASE PLEASE make them again!! Your customers and staff would be thrilled. It was an amazing product and we all miss it!

I have never heard so many people “suffering” from the lack of a product. My friends, and your employees alike always have the same response:

“I wish they would make it again, too.”

What will it take? The new stormfront duffel is great, but too expense and heavy unless you need a waterproof bag. The black hole bag was 100% perfect as it was.

You can’t turn us down! We need it back! My cat was even shocked when he heard the news! Thank you.

Lars G.